Wednesday, May 18, 2011

(2 Karats and a Kid) New Year, New Decade - Better Me.

Every December 31st - close to 10:00 pm EST, new year resolutions begin to overtake my Facebook Newsfeed.

        “New year! New me!” proclaims one person.
        “Jesus is doing a new thing in me in two thousand (whatever)!” preaches another.
        “Pastor said, I’m gonna walk in my season!” announces several people.

Usually, I’m quick to ignore a majority of the resolutions that people proclaim to the world because I tend to think that:  a) If you need to tell 500 people your goal for it to be true then it probably won’t happen and b) I have never been able to shake the statistic that said that most people forget their New Year’s Resolution by January 31.

But I had to admit, on New Year’s Eve 2010  there was something different in the air.   On the precipice of 2011 - a new year and a new decade, there seemed to be consistent undertones in the goals of the people around me.  Essentially what I found is that most people yearn to move beyond the fear and doubt that have kept them from moving forward towards their dreams.

[Blogger’s Note:  Now, don’t get me wrong -- these people were not alone with their feelings.  Apparently, I’m as jacked up as everyone else which is the only reason I was reading people’s facebook status on NYE -- to reflect on my own lessons and challenges of the previous year -- and to proclaim to the world MY resolution which I would surely forget by January 31st as well.]

Nonetheless, this year felt different for me as well.  There was no goal weight to achieve, no vices to forego.  I simply want to rediscover “me”-- my authentic self -- straight up with no chaser, just the way God made me.

Like so many,  fear of failure has kept me from pursuing my real dreams for so long that I almost forgot what they were.  Fear of the unknown has convinced me to stay in friendships that have been more painful than loving and more toxic than supportive.  Fear of my own ability almost convinced me that now that I am a mother -- all that was left for me to be was....a mother.

But it’s a new Year...and a new me!

On the wake of 2011, I realized that indeed there was a chasm between the person that I was and the person who I am.  No longer has fear kept me from becoming a writer, because the fact of the matter is that I had slowly but surely began to write.  No longer did I feel obligated to placate subpar friendships with my time, because God had blessed me with an even wider support system through family, new friends, a husband, and a child.    Quite simply, the fear of suffering was far greater the fear itself -- as it almost always is.

So as this year gets into full swing, and as we all continue to move past our old friends of “fear” and “doubt” -- take stock and give big props to the “new” you...the “REAL” you.  Recognize the ways that you have moved forward, make a tally of your blessings, and say thanks for the “closed doors” that you have experienced (because they, too, serve a greater purpose).  You will surely find that not only does your cup runneth over but that it always has.

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