(MommyJD) The Devastation of Sleep Deprivation

According to Baby Center, and probably some moms out there, at 7 months old my baby should be sleeping through the night by now. Even I will admit that Gr was sleeping in his own bed all night when he was KJ's age, but I try not to compare my kids. The thing is, KJ has definitely been spoiled. Since my kids are 3 years apart I had at least a year and a half of getting a good night's sleep. So I've been dragging on giving that up.

At this point I'm not ready to let KJ just "cry it out," even though I know that method would only take 2 or 3 rough nights. Instead I'm trying to train her to first not feel the need to eat in the middle of the night, and then move on to her putting herself to sleep. But my baby likes to eat, and around 2am she gets the munchies real bad. If I let her cry for too long, her blood curdling screams would shock her fragile system. For those who did not read my previous post about needing a bubble, long story short is that anytime KJ catches a cold it takes a toll on her respiratory system. So for the sake of her health, I'm taking this sleep training thing slow. Unfortunately slow is not better by any means and every night KJ let's me know how upset she is if I don't let her sleep next to me and if I don't feed her before 6am. It also doesn't help that she's got two bottom teeth pushing through her gums.

Sleep training sucks. As does sleep deprivation.

Sleep deprivation means I do stuff like put orange juice in my cereal and miss the turn into my subdivision. Sleep deprivation means fearing I will say something unintelligent in court or falling asleep on the train and missing my stop.

This week is exceptionally difficult because my husband is out of town and my son has been sleeping horribly. We live near train tracks and now midnight trains plus every other sound imaginable wakes Gr up from his sleep.  His comes running down the steps like a wild banchee crying about something that woke him up. I try to remain calm and walk him back to his room, but there have been nights where I find myself arguing with a 3 year old at 4am.

So in addition to sharing my story, this post is a cry for help! What can I do to get my kids to sleep better?

(Mommy JD) Just say no to late naps

And do I really have to explain why? When my son naps at home with me (usually only on the weekends) I try to get him down between 1pm-3pm. Once it gets close to 4pm it's decision time- you have to decide whether a nap is absolutely necessary right now or if you can just go 3 more hours and put him to bed early. Allowing a nap after 4pm is flirting with disaster (note: this applies only to 2-3 year olds. Babies obviously sleep around the clock and I am so looking forward to that again). If you absolutely must nap your child after 4pm, I suggest you wake him/her up after an hour. Toddlers around this age like to sleep for 3+ hours, which at first is the bomb. I remember when Gr took his first 3 hour nap some time ago- I was so hype I didn't know what to do with myself. Yes, a 3 hour nap is blissful when they will still go to bed around 8pm.

However, a few months ago I realized that a 3 hour nap, no matter what time they take it, can be detrimental to bedtime. Thus, when Gr takes a long nap on the weekends, I am mentally prepared for him to not go to bed until 9-9:30pm. And I can deal with that. Late naps, however, are another situation. No matter how lengthy the nap, 45min, 1 hour, 2 hours, whatever- you will undoubtedly have an extreme bedtime battle after a late afternoon nap.

So it's 5:30pm and my husband and I (carpooling as of late) go to pick up our son from my mother-in-law's. She looks at us like we're early (daylight savings time?) and tells us that she JUST put Gr down for a nap. Huh? Okay, obviously I have not broken down the 4pm nap time decision formula for her- but I figure she wouldn't abide by it anyway. So I let him sleep until 6pm, eat dinner, and try not to think about the consequences of his refreshed state.

We get home about 7:30pm, change into PJs, and let Gr play in his room by himself. Around 8pm he comes in our room and wants to lay in bed with us. Mind you my husband had been up working since 3:30am and I had a severe sinus headache so we were both about to pass out. We let him watch cartoons in bed as we rested and at 8:30pm I tell him it's time to go to bed. Protest. But he begrudgingly goes into his room, slowing picks up his toys (stalling), and picks out a book. We read, we say prayers- in the bed. He insists I leave the light on. Now, the first time he made this request I acquiesced and he actually fell asleep with the light on. My husband disagrees with this tactic so we compromised by leaving his closet Christmas lights on the timer. So I turn on the timer and tell him he has to stay in the bed or I will turn off the light. Yeah right.

I'm no fool so I don't go get in the bed. My husband is already snoring away so I just go into the office and get on the computer. There's nothing worse than falling asleep just to have your toddler disturb you. So sat on toddler patrol making him get back in the bed whenever I heard him get out or open his door. And of course he did that for about an hour or so before I couldn't stand it any longer and had to get in the bed. Shortly thereafter I hear him coming down the hall talking about turning his music back on so I tap my husband to get up (your turn!). He does (with an attitude) and of course what daddy says goes so that was the end of that.

I really gotta eliminate the lights and music from this bedtime situation, but I am so not up for the battle....

(Mommy JD) Bedtime Battle

My son Gr and I are going through a bit of a rough patch. If we were married then I might suggest counseling. But since he is 2 years old and I am the parent, that won’t exactly work out. So for now (and for probably a while) Supernanny will be my guidance counselor and go-to person for those frequent moments when I am clueless as to handle my son.

Last night we had an epic bedtime battle. Since he woke up late this morning and didn’t really do anything all day, I let him go all day without a nap. Usually when he doesn’t nap he easily goes to bed around 7pm without any protest. Last night was totally different. Daddy was MIA (a new hobby: basketball) so I had to do it alone. We read books, said our prayers, and turned on the turtle constellation light. But that didn’t do it. He refused to lay down and incessantly repeated “I donwanna go bed.” So I decided to rock him, something I usually reserve for only naptime but I figured this was one of those necessary times. But then he protested me rocking him! He squirmed and wanted to read more books. So I had to talk him down- talk about our day and what we would do the next day. He said “no” to everything that came out of my mouth but finally he drifted off to sleep.

After about 20 minutes (usually long enough) I got up to lay him in the bed. But clearly I wasn’t quick enough because he popped up and protested again. So I rocked him again, only this time he was only barely sleep. I pleaded with him to let me put him in the bed but he refused. Then it got ugly. I put him in his bed anyway. He got up and ran to the door. I tried to keep the door closed. He screamed. I went back in his room and laid him down again. I sat in front of his bed and blocked him from getting out as he constantly repeated “I donwanna go bed!” I laid down on the floor and covered my ears. He sat next to me chanting the same thing “I donwanna go bed!” So on and so forth, more tears, more fighting.....until finally daddy came home to save the day.

I have accepted the fact that Gr listens to his daddy more than me. It doesn’t even bother me really. We both have our roles. What’s scary is when daddy isn’t here and I can’t handle the situation on my own (or at least I don’t think I can.) Get it together mommy!