Saturday, August 13, 2011

(2 Karats and a Kid) Who in the h*ll gets SHINGLES?!?!

Mommy-ism #13:  10 Gummy bears, coffee, and 5 french fries does not equal three square meals a day.

When your baby is a newborn, it is very difficult to find a moment to yourself.  Between feeding the baby/changing the baby/cleaning the baby/entertaining the baby - it is likely that your first 90 days will simply blur into each other like one long day where you kept trying to take a nap but couldn't because there was a Jaws or Rocky marathon on. 

Very quickly, you will find yourself distinguishing the time and space you are in by what bottle number you are on rather than how many hours past noon it is.  In those precious moments of stillness where the baby is fed and sleep - you have a decision to make.  Do you eat?  Do you clean?  Do you sleep?  Or do you go to and catch up on all of your celebrity gossip?

Time and time again, I found myself choosing to do everything BUT eat during my precious moments alone.  Whether it was adrenaline or delirium, in the earlier months of being a mother, it was completely feasible for me to get through my entire day having only eaten gummi bears, three cookies, and some apple sauce.

As a consequence of eating like an anorexic (no offense to anyone afflicted with the disease) it quickly became apparent that my immune system should I say it?  Royally screwed up to say the least.

First I got the shingles, then I got my first cold sore, next I developed migraines, then I started seeing perfectly shaped five-point Stars of David everywhere.  I knew it was time for me to see the doctor.

Leading up to my appointment I was convinced I was dying.   "It must be a tumor or a parasite that I contracted from the dog," I secretly thought, "that would definitely explain why I lost my baby weight so fast."

When the day came for my check-up, I spilled my guts to the doctor.  For the first time ever, I confessed to many questions that I normally would lie about:

Drugs:  "Yes, I smoked alot of marijuana for one year, nine years ago.  Last time I smoked was in 2009 after I had an anxiety attack in one of the toilet stalls at my job."

Alcohol:   "Yes, I'm still nursing but yes, I do drink more than one glass of alcohol of week.  Sometimes I drink three glasses a night.  Yes, I pump and dump...most of the time"

Exercise:  No thank you.  But I will take a donut if you have one.

Soon, the questions were over and the checkup was complete.  After having my blood drawn, she sent me home to wait for the results which would arrive 3-5 long, nerve-wrecking days away.

Five days later, I received an email from my doctor.  With bated breath, I opened it and slowly read each line of her extensive reply.  Finally, when I came across the results from my blood lab, I was shocked to see my diagnosis.


...Vitamin D and B-12 deficiency...

...due to unbalanced nutritional habits.

I've never been so happy to not be dying.  Yes, like all Black folks do - I turned on my church music and got down on my knees and prayed.  Instead of wine, I poured myself a glass of  100% Pure Tropicana Orange Juice and pledged from that day forth that I would take better care of myself, for myself, and my family.

1 comment:

MommyJD said...

I hope that was tropicana with calcium in it!

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